a very little box

i hate school. i know that is a strong statement—to hate something, but it is true. and the thing is, i love to learn. i love thinking about new ideas and re-examining old ideas. so why do i hate school? well, i guess it is because whenever i ask myself why i am at school the number one answer is because i have to be. society tells me that if i don’t receive my degree i will not be successful (honestly, i don't really care), i will not make money (i tend not to worry about this, which causes my parents to worry more), and i will work at a fast food restaurant for the rest of my life (presently reading fast food nation, so that would be torture). how can i fight society? obviously, i haven’t had it in me in the past, because i am at school.

so besides it being the thing society tells me is normal to do, why do i hate school and yet love to learn? because i spend, well i am a spoiled brat so my parents spend, thousands upon thousands of dollars for me to learn things i could just as easily learned from reading a book…or listening to npr…or even watching quality television. and okay, yes i would miss out on discussing ideas with my peers. oh wait, no i wouldn't. my friends and i do that for fun. never mind.

why else? because i constantly feel trapped. this is probably why i have changed my major so many times—determined to keep my life as interesting as it can be within the prison called university. i want to learn all sorts of things and choosing a major feels like choosing a box i want to spend the rest of my life in. i am somewhat closter phobic.

and tests, oh i shouldn't even get started on tests. the average professor forces students to cram unimportant facts into the many overflowing drawers in our brain called memory. the problem with that is i, for one, have limited drawer space and only so much shelf life. and as i walk out of the testing room, my mind flushes these unimportant facts and i end up feeling like the class was a total waste of time. concepts, teachers. teach us concepts. you give me a concept and allow discussion of such concepts and immediately the shelf life grows exponentially. a class should be taught so that on any given day a student would feel confident enough to walk into a classroom and write an essay test on that concept. my favorite classes, few and far between, were taught like this and i remember everything.

in other news...
i think i am the only senior who still gets homesick, so i am getting the hell out of here and going home this weekend. smile.
one of my favorite people in the whole wide world is in spain right now. and i miss her.