i wanted to tell you

you are going to have to excuse me today--my mind is fuzzy, and i am going to try and write anyway.

i wanted to tell you that i have decided what i want to be when i grow up. i want to be a pirate. i have thought about this a lot--freakishly a lot--and i really think i would make quite a good pirate...and a cute one at that. i am an excellent swimmer; i feel actually more natural on or in water than i do on land. this will also come in handy if for some reason i run across a bad pirate and he or she makes me walk the plank. my treading water abilities are top notch. and i'm not a bad floater. if i became i pirate, i would also be able to travel the world, which is something i have always wanted to do. i am a great liar. and quite a sneaky thief. sarah also reminded me that most female pirates have red hair, so i fit that area perfectly as well. so i guess what i am saying is the pirate's life's for me.

i wanted to tell you that the fucking tcu police gave me a parking ticket for having an expired parking sticker! i haven't had a parking sticker since sophomore year and how the hell can you give someone a ticket for not needing one. yes, i was parked on campus like i am everyday to go to the rec center. and i have never ever had a ticket on my car. it is a bunch of shit, and when i calm down i am going to have a few words with those fucking bastards. p.s. "calm down" means i am no longer using words such as "fucking," "shit," or "bastards"

i wanted to tell you that my life is repeating itself. the same feelings and events i had the spring semester of my senior year in high school are now occurring in the spring semester of my senior year in college. what the hell? it doesn't make sense. i mean, i am talking like creepy similar. like twilight zone creepy. maybe this is to prove that i have grown up over the past four years. that i won't make the same mistakes. maybe it will give me confidence for the future. i can already tell i am not the same idiot i was then--i mean, i'm still an idiot, but a different one.

i wanted to tell you that i love receiving emails from real people. i love typing in my user name and password and seeing a number next to the inbox. then i try to guess who has emailed me. i can't fully express how disappointing it is to only find junk. but oh how happy it makes me to see the name of a person i know. i didn't used to be an email person. i wouldn't consider myself one even now. but i guess it is always nice to know someone cares about you enough to type a little note just for you.