i promise i am not boy crazy. it's just that boys are driving me crazy.

the good life concert.
it ended up just being me and stephani that went, which i think turned out to be the best thing possible. it seems like forever since we were able to have a conversation. a real lindsay and stephani conversation. we got lost again on our way to the club in denton. it shouldn't be that hard to find a music venue. steph and i saw tim kasher as we were leaving the bathroom as he was walking into the men's room. so we waited near the restrooms for him to come out, naturally. but besides stalking this incredibly sexy man (okay, seriously. last night--holy crap was he ridiculously sexy), stephani and i continued to talk before the bands started playing. these girls behind me were also highly excited to see my tim. damn, competition. then i heard the guy in front of me say, "i would fuck tim kasher." damn, more competition. that's all i need. oh, and this drunk girl started playing with my hair. "you have beautiful hair, " she slurred. "thanks," i replied but scooted closer to steph.

library.
congratulate me. i am now a graduating member of the carl hates me club. carl and i are actually friends. i saw him in the computer lab today, and i was just going to say a quick "hi," but we ended up having a really good conversation. nothing deep. but enjoyable and easy. and it made me really happy. i am really glad we are friends. it took us nearly four years, but hell, at least it happened.

fiction class.
turned in my final portfolio this afternoon. then four people read some of their writing to the class. it is part of our grade. sean read today. and as he stood there in his dark purple hoodie and tight blue jeans with his hands shaking from the nervousness of reading in front of the class. i found him incredibly endearing. and when he yawned a couple times in the middle of reading his own stories, i laughed. the entire class laughed. but he kept on reading. i don't know why i find this person so fascinating. so endearing.

on my way to rhetoric class.
i have been running into daniel a lot. and for the first time in two years, after all the confusing/frustrating/weird crap that happened between us, it hasn't been awkward. it's actually been kind of nice. and then i worry, has it been nice because i have felt lonely lately. or has it just been nice. or is it even nice? maybe it has just been not weird. which is nice. okay, you get my present confusion. anyway, i run into him today and he says, "i keep seeing you everywhere. maybe we should hang out." and i say, "that's funny. i've been thinking the same thing." which is true, but i had actually come to the conclusion that we shouldn't. so he says, "okay, when do you want to hang out?" and i say, "i don't know. whenever." and he says, "what are you up to tomorrow?" "oh, nothing much. nothing in the evening," i reply. "you want to hang out then?" "sure," i say. and we exchange phone numbers. and as i walk away i think, "what the hell did i just do?" and then i can't tell sarah, because she'll laugh or slap sense into me. but maybe i need that. well, now you know, sarah. i feel like an idiot. but i kind of want to hang out with him. if nothing else, to get some closure and maybe a nice reminder of why it was weird to begin with. as if i need a reminder. i'll let you know how it goes.

tonight.
after one beginner's luck game of magic with brett and richard in which i beat them both. we are playing again tonight. no one will help me this time (okay, richard would probably help me), not that i really want help. and all my smack talk will be laid to rest, especially considering i don't think i remember how to play. as brett keeps reminding me, he's going to "mop the floor with me." whatever the hell that means.