the rules i live by

one. always follow the syllabus.
two. never trust what i say.
three. sarcasm makes everything better.
four. mocking you makes me happy.
five. my favorite word is fuck.
six. if i am mean to you, it means i like you. so smile.
seven. i have to win. the word "truce" is not in my vocabulary.
eight. i will always beat brett at magic.
nine. the word "zee" is in my vocabulary.
ten. i dig kids who spend nights in jail. and ride bicycles to work.
eleven. tim kasher: any place, any time.
twelve. i am a liar. i hear liars go to hell. so, yeah.
thirteen. i am going to london, damn it. don't ask me when. don't ask me why.
fourteen. i hate pickled things.
fifteen. i love my sister, who helped me write this blog.