time to move on

for the first time, i am starting to realize that i do need to move on. it is time to go and see new things and meet new people. it is time to have a clean slate. it is time to make different impressions. it is time to grow-up. it is time to pop the bubble. it is time to get new perspectives. it is time to have new friends. to have new goals. to have a new average day.

everything just feels slightly off. conversations feel forced or completely unwanted. i am by myself mostly, but i don't feel lonely. i feel safe with only a few people, and even then, i don't really want to share much anymore. well, there are exceptions...

maybe i won't miss fort worth as much as i had originally thought. rachael helped me make a pro and con list for cities i am thinking of moving to. and i realized during this process, that no matter what--whether i stay in texas or not--i am leaving. it won't be the same. i am just no longer part of this college, tcu life. i am just an outsider, who will soon forget what is what like to go to classes everyday and stay up late working on papers and making runs to ihop at two in the morning and sitting on curbs and eating ice cream and pranking silly boys. soon i will forget all those feelings. and maybe that's okay.