nine letter word for adult

i have spent the last twenty-one years trying to figure out how to avoid becoming a grown-up; a fear i now refer to as the "neverland syndrome." and although when you ask people "when does a person become an adult?" the answers will vary, i think i have finally come to a conclusion, which of course could be debated. a person is an adult when they think about the practical. and i catch myself doing this more and more. i know longer think anything is possible. i know longer hope for miracles and blessings. i think practically. i think: "no one will pay me to do this or that," "i will have to make x amount of money to live comfortably," "i have x amount of time to achieve x amount of things." and all of this makes me really sad. i want to go back to the days of playing barbie dolls with my sister for hours and hours at a time, when anything was possible. i want to go back to the days when i believed in miracles. i want to go back to the days when i knew if i loved to do something enough i could do it for a living. but in my fear of growing up, i miscalculated the "practical" effect. and woke one morning with the realization, i am an adult now; i am practical. and it sucks.