the other me
i don't like it when people remind me of the way i used to be. i don't exactly know why i don't like it. maybe it's because i didn't like that person--then or now. maybe i don't want to hear whether they liked that me or this me better. and usually they give me that answer. but the thing is, it wasn't me back then. it was the me that i thought everyone wanted me to be. the good girl. the spiritual girl. the girl who had it together. the giver. the selfless girl. the proper girl. the respectful girl. the girl who followed all the rules. the girl who tried to be perfect. but that girl doesn't exist. and i think it is because i was trying to be this other me that led the real me to be extremely sad and bitter and heart broken and alone. and whenever anyone ever brings up this other me, it makes me sad. my heart cries that i ever tried to be this other me. and it makes me angry. it makes me angry that i felt like i had to be anything but myself.
posted @ 4:59 PM
2 Comments:
L-dog,
I for one have always been a fan of you. You are one person and no one can divide you up. Your example of being one person, seeking to grow and seeking to be you has been one of the saving graces of my life. About spirituality, it is a process not a state, and it is not the act of being good but the act of being true. Thank you for teaching me these lessons and many others. I love you.
Richard Newton
oh richard,
you are too good to me sometimes--most times. thank you for always encouraging me to be myself. you give me high fives for my honesty when most people's jaws drop and then they awkwardly look around to see if anyone else just heard the words that came out of my mouth. you rock my world. i appreciate it more than i can say.
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