go fish and old maid

i have three chapters of world geography terms to look up, and i don't want to. i have another test on friday, and i don't want to take it. i am tired. i just want to play with friends. and talk to friends. because the second wave of them are leaving next week. and i may not see them ever again. and i still don't know how i feel about this. do you know how people use the expression "it just wasn't in the cards" or "maybe it's in your cards"? well, i want to take a peek at these cards. just a little peek. i want to see if i should calm down. get excited. be patient. start preparing. i just want to take a peek at these all-knowing cards. i asked God to show me. i think i actually heard a laugh. God laughed at me. "that's not how it works," God says. i say, "i know, but i thought i'd ask anyway." i try not be angry at God. i try not to be frustrated. i need to be patient. i know this. God knows this. and yet, again i whisper, "please, God. please. just one little peek. really, what could it hurt?"