what did i do?

what did i do? i must have done something incredible. if i believed in past lives, i would conclude i must have saved the world or found a great cure or brought peace to the universe or was completely selfless and sacrificed this past life for some greater cause. seriously, what did i do to deserve such amazing friends? i am in awe right now. my heart is happy and my eyes are teared with joy. these brilliant, brilliant people choose to be my friend, choose to love me. i must have been really, really good. or done something really, really right. or maybe God is just really, really good. maybe God is just really, really right. and maybe when you pray that you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life, God opens your eyes, even gives you a little shake, and says, "silly lindsay, you are not alone. you will never be alone."

richard called me today to say he is driving to fort worth tomorrow to visit me. why? because he misses me. because he loves me. because he is a best friend. i didn't ask him to. he just wants to. i'm not on a list, something to cross off, something to deal with. i'm his friend. and he cares about me. and i bow my head, close my eyes, and whisper, "thank You so much. thank You so much."