cough syrup and the pink lady

my cough, unfortunately, has decided to stay awhile longer. and i have decided coughing up my lung, although an interesting talent, is not really what i want the highlight of this weekend to be, so i made a pit stop at albertsons. i figured finishing an entire bottle of cough syrup in one day isn't too healthy, so i opted for the jumbo bottle this time. ah, peace of mind.

as i am purchasing my second bottle in two days at the self-checkout machine, there is an older woman next to me buying a few items for herself--what, i can't really see. but as her machine recites the usual "unexpected item at the checkout counter, remove item before continuing," the woman yells at the machine "shut up, shut up." now, these machines have a tendency to be, well, machines. the monotone male voice declares there is something wrong, when nothing is wrong. but this woman, adorned entirely in pink with a bright pink purse and matching wallet covered with brightly colored hearts, continues to yell "shut up, shut up." as usual, the albertsons employee presses a little button at their ever-so-important station, and the machine stops its recitation of danger. it doesn't take long before the machine screws up and the woman begins to scream again and hits the machine. "shut up, you! shut! up!"

maybe it is the cough syrup. maybe it is the glow of pink. but i smile.

swirl of thoughts

i have so many things on my mind right now, and i am presently wishing my mind was a big blank. then maybe i could lie down and take a little nap before i leave to drive to dallas with like twelve other people. it should be fun, but a nap would guarantee a happy mood and little cynicism. but alas, too many thoughts and no drool found on my pillow case.

tonight will be the first opportunity for the boys to strike back, given that the girls will all be at one place at one time. but i don't think there is a plan in action. and for that reason, i am not too anxious about it. but i am still thinking about what they could possibly do to get us and what would the girls do when it is our turn to prank again.

i have been called many things in life. twenty-two years is enough time to rack up a list of nice and not so nice names. for example, i have been called: nice, silly, a smart ass, a princess, charming, rude, spoiled, selfish, talented, friendly, mean, giving, mature, immature, loving, generous, welcoming, outgoing, brave, weak, funny, beautiful, bright, a bitch, annoying, weird...and last week i was told that someone called me pretentious. of course, i am sure i have been called a lot of other things, but those are the commonly heard and/or remembered ones. pretentious. pretentious. okay, i openly admit, even on this blog, that i am a snob, but pretentious? and i was called pretentious by two girls i don't even know and who don't even really know me. and they made the evaluation that i am pretentious over three years ago, during my freshmen year at college. and this really pisses me off. mainly because when i was a freshmen i was a very sad person. that person, that lindsay, is not the me i am today. today, you can call me a snob. today you can call me whatever you would like, and i am fine with it, because i am fine with me. but these girls called me pretentious when i was an incredibly depressed person. and for that, i am pissed. and i am having a hard time forgetting and caring less about it.

stephani and i had this long, late night conversation about vaginas and vegetarianism. my two favorite v topics. i am always surprised, some how, by the fact we don't agree on anything, which is probably not completely true but just seems like it. she didn't understand how claiming your vagina as your own is empowering. nor did she think it is necessary to be proud of your female sex in order to gain the same rights as men. we should not have to pretend to be men in order to be successful. we should not change who we are or not talk openly about who we are to please other people. i am a woman. i have a vagina. and i like it that way. and you will respect that i have one and that i like it.

i had a dream a few nights ago that i saw myself at five years old. i thought of all these things i wanted to tell this five years old lindsay. i wanted to tell her that she will be okay. i wanted to tell her that she will make mistakes. i wanted to tell her that she is beautiful and that she is brave. i wanted to tell her that she should always be herself and not shift and form into what she thinks others want her to be. but i didn't say anything. i just pulled her up into my lap, brushed her soft, curly hair off her face, and looked into her her blue eyes.

post-it notes, frozen underwear, and silence

back in fort worth...

on saturday, six of my favorite girls and i successfully nailed five unsuspecting boys with one of, if not the most, impressive pranks i have heard of or witnessed. the mission: (1) to slyly sneak into the apartment of these five boys and place post-it notes on as much surface area as possible; (2) to collect all (clean) underwear from dressers, closets, dryers, and any where else; (3) drench underwear with water, place in plastic bags, and put bags into freezer; (4) to replace underwear with five girlie thongs (one for each boy) and scatter confetti around the thong (because my mom always says, "presentation is everything"). and despite a little panic and almost getting caught locked into the apartment, we did it. we were successful in our mission. and the best part: the boys have said nothing. they have pretended like nothing has happened. and we have responded in the same way--complete silence. luckily we have our own spies and have heard that they are thoroughly impressed with the prank and in the process of planning a counter attack. good luck, boys. that is going to be difficult to top. but i am looking forward to the prank to come.

happy new year

i have come to the realization that with age the climatic events of my youth are now just events that enter and exit with barely more than a whisper. i have considered the pros and cons to this realization and have decided it is not really a bad thing. when i was younger, christmas was a huge event and new year's eve was a huge event. now, they seem like any other day. sure, you get presents and friends come over, but it just doesn't reach high excitement levels. and that is okay with me, because i now find regular, old days a little more exciting. and regular, old activities that i can do on any day exciting. i am not quite sure how this exactly works. maybe it isn't just age, but perspective. or maybe it is perspective that only comes with age. when i was younger if someone had ask me to choose a day to repeat over and over for the rest of my life, i would have chosen christmas. now if i had to choose, i would choose a day spent with family and friends on an any old friday or saturday with no special activity--maybe a game or just coffee/tea and conversation. or maybe i would choose to live each day only once, no repeat, no rewind then play. and i think that is a good realization to have as i enter this new year.

cheers to joseph, richard, and sarah for making my new year's eve like any other night--really fun.
now, i am heading off to a belated new year's party at chris' house with stephani (who is finally home from espana) and jaimie. it should be interesting, maybe even fun.