Thursday, December 30, 2004

random thoughts on the last thursday of 2004

lincoln, nebraska is way too far from sugar land, texas. i wonder who i could talk to about changing that.
reverb is fun.
spinach enchiladas with my parents taste extra yummy.
sleeping until 12:15 is the most wonderful evil there is.
when vacuuming, it helps to have a crazy purple vacuum to make the time fly and activity a little more bearable.
garden state is on my top ten favorite movie list. it annoys me that it is on a lot of girls' lists. whoa, look at me being average.
poor howard hughes.
joseph was a very cute baby. and i love him.
i wonder if anyone will come over for new year's eve.
"i am right eighty percent of the time," i declare. "and the rest of the time you are in pain," joseph responds.
lucy is crawling. i can't wait to see.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

the dentist and deforestation

don't let the framed pictures of puppies, despite their tackiness, or the extremely friendly receptionist fool you. the dentist office is not the happiest of places. it is just a routine, twice a year clean-up. so why must the assigned teeth cleaner, not the dentist, wear layers of masks--paper and hard plastic? why must she shine a bright light into my face as if interrogating my teeth on where they have been for the past six months? why must she use a cold, metal, hooked contraption and dig into my teeth and gums creating a noise very similar to nails on a blackboard? over and over she scrapes my teeth. but they are strong and do not cave under this type of torture. they are even strong enough to withstand the strings of hard plastic being vigorously carved into my innocent gums. this is the first time to the dentist for one tooth--my new wisdom tooth. at my last visit to the dentist, i was told my wisdom teeth must be removed--carved and stripped from my mouth. but i need all the wisdom i can get, so i stubbornly held on to these teeth. in revisiting the dentist i feared this tooth would come up in conversation, maybe even start a debate. but my wisdom tooth silently held its place, and nothing was said by the cleaner or infamous dentist--wisdom was saved. and my teeth withstood yet another visit to the dentist.

my dad called it family time. i call it torture. the great deforestation of 2004 took place at my home in sugar land, texas today. our ten or so trees in our front and side yard were raped of many of their branches. the yard looked as if a hurricane had ripped through the silent yard. branches and leaves were everywhere. and it was my job, as well as the job of the rest of my family, to further cut the trees' limbs into smaller pieces in order to neatly bag the evidence of this injury. placing the remains of such a massacre in large, black plastic bags is hard, exhausting work. and it may have been considered family time, but it was definitely not fun time. sigh.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

merry christmas

well, i never thought it would happen, at least not in houston, texas, but i have had my first white christmas (and pictures to prove it). and yes, to all who live in the north, it was not feet and feet of snow, but it was snow. and it hasn't snowed in houston for fifteen years. and it has never snowed for christmas since the weather has been recorded. and it was real snow--the soft, light fluffy kind. it was beautiful. and jaimie, joseph, josh, my dad, and i ran around the yard throwing snowballs at each other. it was so fun.

i had a good christmas. it was weird at times for josh, jaimie's boyfriend, to be here. but at the same time, it didn't seem weird at all--which is kind of weird in itself. i got a lot of cool stuff, had fun playing games with my family, and unfortunately, watched the snow melt. i have decided there is not too many things more depressing than watching snow melt. it is just sad.

presently, my brother is playing his new star wars computer game next to me and my sister is trying to get caught up on alias season three in the living room before season four starts in just a week and a half (!!!). my mom is already in bed for the night and my dad just gave me a kiss on the head saying he is heading to bed too. all my grandparents are under my roof tonight and have been in bed for over an hour now. i love my family. i love my house. i love the noises my family and my house make. it is soothing. even the squawky bird. it just means i am home and safe.


my house on christmas eve! Posted by Hello


a white christmas! Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 23, 2004

all the lindsay hicks'

so i randomly decided to google my name the other day and was surprised to see all the lindsay hicks' in the world doing all sorts of great things. then i became a little disappointed...i have done nothing. i am letting down all the other lindsay hicks'. i need to get on the ball. i need to do something.

lindsay hicks: climbed mount kilimajaro

lindsay hicks: writes romance novels

lindsay hicks: plays college basketball

lindsay hicks: in need of something to do

Monday, December 20, 2004

abby

on saturday i watched one of the best friends i have ever had cross the stage of the tcu coliseum and accept her diploma. for the past three weeks, especially, i have tried to spend as much time with her as possible. i have tried to fill myself with abby laughs, abby hugs, abby smiles, abby looks, abby quirks, and abby thoughts in order to carry me through the ten months that will be void of abby. and it has finally arrived. abby is in nebraska. i am in texas.

i didn't think i could cry anymore. i cried almost every day for two weeks up to abby's departure from texas...and me. but as i dropped her off at her house for the very last time saturday night, i started to cry again...bawl, really. i just let it go. she was leaving, and i didn't want her to go. i thought, okay, no more tears. this is starting to be ridiculous. but as i said goodbye to her early sunday morning as she climbed into her family's packed minivan, i started to cry again. and i cried the entire walk home. and i cried standing in my apartment all alone. abby is gone.

i know, we will still talk--on the phone, by email, by post card, and in person one day. but it isn't the same. i finally felt like i could trust this person, this friend, completely, which is very hard for me to do. i told her things i have never told anyone. we have been through so much--good and bad. and...and i am just not so good with change. i am not good with different.

with whom will i be weird? with whom will i be a snob? with whom will i visit the modern art museum? with whom will i attend concerts? with whom will i go grocery shopping at central market? who will nag me to try new fruits and vegetables? who will be my mooch? who in my life will dance and sing and say silly things? who in my life will hug trees just because?

i miss abby. i miss abby a lot.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

why i love my vagina

so last week i finally read the vagina monologues by eve ensler. i sat in barnes and noble for a little while over a period of two days and read and laughed and fell in love with being a woman and yes, my vagina.

did you know? females posses the only organ in the human body, the clitoris, with no function other than to feel pleasure.

"the shape we call a heart--whose symmetry resembles the vulva far more than the asymmetry of the organ that shares its name--is a residual female genital symbol. it was reduced from power to romance by centuries of male dominance."

my favorite part of the entire vagina monologues is when she asks, "if your vagina got dressed, what would it wear?" and then ensler lists some of the responses she has received. my personal response: a jeweled tiara--because i am a princess, of course.

Monday, December 06, 2004

destiny

destiny: the seemingly inevitable succession of events; (one's) fate
fate: (1) the power supposed to determine the outcome of events, destiny; (2) one's lot or fortune; (3) final outcome; (4) death, destruction

before thursday i had no idea how strongly i felt on the subject of destiny. it was just one of those things that i just assumed everyone felt the same way as i did--that being, i totally, completely believe in destiny. and i really had never talked to anyone about it. well, that was until thursday when my roommate and i got into this big discussion of the matter. what irked me the most is that she acted like i was naive or stupid or something for believing in destiny. i may be a little naive, but i am not stupid. and i may be something, but i am not stupid. i just believe with everything i am that what is going to happen is meant to happen, that God knows this outcome, knows my next move. this in no way means i don't believe in free will. i do believe in free will. i just believe God knows the choices i will make before i make them, but they are still my choices.

but besides being annoyed at my roommate's condescending tone, i realized something pretty incredible happened while arguing my belief in destiny: i had to admit to myself that i believe in God. for so many months i haven't been able to talk to God, let alone acknowledge His existence. i have been so angry, so bitter, so stubborn. but after one little argument, i talked to Him. not a lot, but i still talked and i tried to listen. i guess that is a start. actually, i know that is a start.

one last note on destiny: my all time favorite idea in literature and film is when the hero or heroine hears his or her destiny and by trying to avoid the foreseen outcome, they create that very fate. so interesting.